My little girl is only four years old, so bullies have not yet been much of a problem. (Except for one bigger boy at the park one day who made her cry, but we never did find out just what he said) However, as someone who also teaches martial arts and self-defense, I recognize the problem of bullies. In fact, I agree with Dr. Phil McGraw's first line of the foreword he wrote, "Bullies have been a huge problem for as long as there has been any kind of society." Therefore, I enjoyed Jay McGraw's "Life Strategies For Dealing With Bullies" very much. I provided me with further information for my teaching and writing, and I also have this great book on the shelf when my daughter gets a bit older. It will be a book we read and discuss together.
I like that this book teaches the reader how to help themselves, but also how to get help when bullied. No one should be intimidated, harassed, and especially physically abused, and those doing such things need to be stopped. This book has plenty of good advice on how to do just that.
The book is written so a younger person can understand it, but due to the serious topic, it is a good read for adults as well, especially those of us that are parents or work with kids. I especially liked that Jay McGraw emphasized that we must put a stop to bullying, and that starts with the reader.
The first chapter starts with a description of what bullying is. I was surprised to see that a year 2000 source claimed that more than five million students in grades six through eleven were affected by bullying. Readers will also find out there are many ways to bully, and in chapter two the focus is on e-bullying, something not around when I was a kid. Computers and technology have changed the way things are done, including bullying.
Chapter three discusses the whys of bullying and why people do it. I think this is important to know as one starts to confront bullying. Chapter four goes into the damage bullies can do, up to kids killing themselves. Reading this chapter I sure don't want any of these things to ever happen to my little girl. Chapter five helps the reader recognize when they are being bullied. Believe it or not, but some bullying is not as recognizable and obvious, but can still have harmful effects.
Chapter six is a great chapter if you think your child might be bullying others. It focuses on if you are a bully. With so many people being bullied, that means a lot are bullying. This is a good chapter to help recognize that and cut it off before it gets worse.
Chapter seven got into what I was really looking for, taking on bullies and what kids can do. This chapter is very good at helping the reader realize they have worth, and then it provides strategies to deal with bullies. When I grew up the advice for facing bullies was to stand up to them and pop them one and they would then leave you alone. This in fact does work, and has worked for people. However, I much prefer McGraw's "Fight Back Without Fighting" methods. The remind me of Bruce Lee in "Enter the Dragon," the art of fighting without fighting. With that said, I still believe there are times when physically fighting is appropriate. McGraw does not agree with me, but then he is not a martial artist and self-defense instructor. And there are times when someone must be able to stand up to bullies physically too.
The eighth chapter deals with bystanders. You might not be the victim of bullying, but as the title of chapter eight says, there are no innocent bystanders. This is a good chapter for anyone who knows of someone being bullied. Remember, this book is aimed at a younger audience, to actually help kids being bullied. So chapter nine focuses on educating parents. It tells kids how to ask for help. Chapter ten lets kids know what they can ask schools to do. And finally, chapter eleven discusses forgiving a bully.
I feel this is a very important book on a very important topic. I like that it is aimed at the younger audience, and would be very good for 9-13 year olds to read. Each chapter includes journal exercises that kids can at least think about and figure out for themselves what they can do, and what they will do.
This is a timely and much needed book. Five stars because he is addressing a very important topic. It provides tools to deal with bullies in a very direct no-nonsense approach. I recommend it for anyone who has kids that are being bullied, or for those kids who are bullies. It should also be read by those that work with kids and are in positions to help stop bullies and bullying. Stop bullying in its tracks, and start with Jay McGraw's "Life Strategies For Dealing With Bullies."
Alain Burrese, J.D. is a mediator/attorney with Bennett Law Office P.C. and an author/speaker through his own company Burrese Enterprises Inc. He teaches people to live with the warrior's edge through his writing and speaking on a variety of topics focusing on the business areas of negotiation and success principles as well as self-defense and safety topics. He is the author of Hard-Won Wisdom From the School of Hard Knocks, several instructional dvds, and numerous articles. You can find out more about Alain Burrese at his websites http://www.burrese.com and http://bennettlawofficepc.com
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